Tammy Arnold: 00:00:00.000
Being able to come here and my– see my kids make friends because that was one of the big things I worried about when I home-schooled– was, “My kids aren’t going to have any friends,” and just to come here and see them build relationships here and just to step out of their comfort zone a little bit. [music]

Gretchen Roe: 00:00:22.739
Good afternoon, everyone. This is Gretchen Roe and it’s my pleasure to welcome you to this episode of The Demme Learning Show. We’re excited today to have a conversation about co-op learning and about small group learning. I have three lovely ladies here today who are going to talk to you about their experience. And perhaps, you can see yourself fitting in the frame for a co-op experience. Maybe you’re in a co-op now and you want to improve that experience or maybe it’s something you haven’t yet considered. We’re going to talk about a lot of things. I’m really looking forward to this conversation. And I’d like these ladies to introduce themselves. Ladies?

Lynn Fote: 00:00:59.421
Hi, I’m Lynn. I founded and– co-founded and run our group with my husband. Our group is called Secular Liberty Homeschoolers. And we also, as part of that, have a blog. Our blog is lamppostblog.com. Our group is secularliberty.com. And the point of our group is to make homeschooling family make more homeschooling families by making it easier and more enjoyable to be a homeschooling family. So we’ll post articles about things that are homeschooling or sometimes not exactly homeschooling. It’s just to kind of show people what it’s all about. It’s more of a group and we’ll meet weekly and we do all different kinds of activities. So some of our activities are things where we’re doing things for the kids and their crafts or parties. And then, some of them are a little bit different. But the really important thing is that my husband and I wanted to make a group that we always wanted to be a part of and that group was welcoming to everybody. So whether you are very strict and Orthodox in your religion, if you’re casual, somewhere in between, not even there, that’s okay. I want everybody to feel welcome. And it’s about the homeschooling and the community. So some of that stuff that we do– it’s really cool. We have crafts that the kids will do. And they’re on display at a local museum for the holidays or just for celebrating different times of year. We’ve made parts out of cotton and flannel for some of the NICU babies at hospitals in our area. We do that every Valentine’s Day. We’ve done field trips with some local schools for all about marine biology and sea life. I feel like I’m leaving things out. We do lots and lots of fun thing– oh, we work with retirement homes in the area, too. So the kids with talent shows, we have a Christmas show coming up, just a lot of outreach. And I’m trying to make sure that we can provide the children in our group with experiences that they may not otherwise be able to have. So we’re very thankful for the group and I’m very thankful for you, Gretchen, to have us. So thank you very much.

Tammy Arnold: 00:02:59.178
Been director of our co-op for the past two years. We meet every Tuesday from August through the end of April and we offer classes for 1st through 12th grade. And we try to provide just a way for moms to come together and help each other. Some moms are stronger in certain different areas of academics. So they take over the roles of teaching those classes. And then, at the same time, we just provide a social aspect for the children just to be able to come around and be around other homeschoolers and make friends and hang out. And we have field trips we offer throughout the year. We have a drama department and we usually put on plays in the fall and the spring. And then, we also have– last year, we had a mom and dad step up to teach archery and that’s available for the kids. So we’re very thankful their community that is provided through our coop.

Mindy Giles: 00:03:57.563
My name is Mindy. I’m the founder and director of Catoosa Homeschool Coop in North Georgia, just outside of Chattanooga, Tennessee. We’ve been around for 22 years. There’s a lot of different homeschooling groups in our area. So the intent when we started was to kind of meet a different need than the other groups in the area. The other groups were more supplemental as far as kind of doing the things that Lynn was talking about, like field trips and crafts and community service type things. And they were very just community minded, very inclusive, that sort of thing. And our intent was to build a Christian coop with like-minded people that focused more on academics. And we focused on the academics for two reasons. We realized that a lot of moms didn’t necessarily want to sacrifice a day if it wasn’t going to benefit their homeschooling academic journey. And also we wanted to lift a load off of– I say the moms, but I recognize that dad’s homeschool too now. But we wanted to lift a load off of them as far as what they were teaching at home.

Mindy Giles: 00:05:18.787
And so we have many– our teachers are all from our families for the most part. We have a few that we’ve kind of through the community met a mom here or a professional there that wants to come in and teach some different classes. But it’s mostly moms and dads that teach the academic classes. We focus on science and history because those are pretty easy to do multigroup. At this point now in our journey, after 22 years, we actually have complete– everybody is a different– if you’re in kindergarten, you’re only with kindergartners. If you’re in fifth grade, you’re only with fifth graders. But when we started, we had multi groups. So we had K-2, 3rd through 5th. And so those are just the subjects that are easiest to do with multi levels. And we leave reading and writing and arithmetic for most of the parents to do at home because those are so individualized, so fundamental that they can focus on those, and science and history that’s more cyclical. They’re going to get through the course of hopefully their time with us at the coop. And just like Tammy said too, we’re a co-op. We’re designed for the family, ultimately.

Mindy Giles: 00:06:37.292
The kids love to come. They do their school. That’s not necessarily the favorite part of the day for them. They get to socialize with their friends, and it’s a consistent opportunity for them to meet with their friends. And they always have the same people there, as opposed to community gatherings. It might be, well, Bobby’s there this week, but next time around he’s not there. So they have those consistent friendships. And honestly, lunch is their favorite part of the day. We have a little snapshot where they get to go through the lunchroom and buy their lunch if they want to and trade the goodies and all that stuff. But also, we’re there for predominantly the moms because it is typically the moms that are doing the bulk of the homeschooling. But the moms come together. I’ve had so many say, “I thought I was joining co-op for my kids, but in actuality it was something that I needed because I needed the community and the connection even more than my kids did. And the only reason I’m still homeschooling today is because of the community that I have here that I can go to, cry with, laugh with, and really just bond with.” So that’s kind of the gist of our co-op and what we do and what our main vision is.

Gretchen Roe: 00:07:58.297
I think you can see very quickly that each of these ladies has a different goal. Their groups have different orientations and co-ops are as different as every one of our children. I was involved with a co-op for 10 years on their board and 17 out of the 21 years that we homeschooled and we were strictly a high school co-op. We were academic and we offered through that co-op the courses that you didn’t want to teach. It was going to be my out for never having to teach upper-level math until my third kid was out of sequence for the co-op. And we had to learn how to negotiate math with each other.

Gretchen Roe: 00:08:38.383
And that was what actually introduced me to Math-U-See. So she’s a research biologist today. I think we turned out okay. But everyone comes to co-op for a different reason. Mindy, you’ve said something that’s really important, and that is the fellowship, the ability to connect with other parents who really understand what you’re going through. And I think one of the things that happens when we homeschool is we all have somebody in our experience who was like, “I don’t know whether you’re doing the right thing or not.” And being able to be with a group of moms who can say, “Oh, yeah, not only are you doing the right thing, but you’re doing a terrific job,” makes all the difference in the world. So I wonder if each one of you might be willing to tell a story of how your personal experience of being involved with the co-op benefited you. And this time I’ll start with Tammy and then we’ll move it around a little bit.

Tammy Arnold: 00:09:37.755
I was trying to think specifically just being able to come here and see my kids make friends because that was one of the big things I worried about when I homeschooled was my kids aren’t going to have any friends. And just to come here and see them build relationships here and just to step out of their comfort zone a little bit. I was naturally a very shy person and I wasn’t very– I didn’t feel like I was good at being outgoing. When I was in high school, I joined a drama club and then ended up backing out because I was just too intimidated.

Tammy Arnold: 00:10:13.226
Well, just coming to co-op here, all three of my children are involved with drama and they go on stage. And it’s just it’s encouraging to me to see them go ahead and take on that role early in life rather than having to learn later how to be an outgoing person. So that is what has helped me a lot and just encouraged me to see, “Hey, we’re homeschooling, but, hey, my kids are outgoing. They’re not tucked away in some corner afraid to talk to people.” So that’s what has encouraged me the most.

Mindy Giles: 00:10:44.619
Well, I’ll answer twofold. I’ll answer for myself as a mama and then I’ll answer kind of as a mama to my kids and what I see for them. For me as a mom, my education, my background is in education. I have an education degree and not that by any means do I think you have to have an education degree to homeschool or run a co-op or teach a class or anything like that. So don’t hear that. But I know that for me, even if I didn’t have an education degree, I have this desire to teach.

Mindy Giles: 00:11:20.395
And so for me, not not even leading the co-op, but having the opportunity to teach classes at the co-op has really met a need for me to be able to use that gift that I feel like I have. I love pouring into kids. I get to teach a couple of the high school classes. And so through the years, I’ve really formed some close connections with those young people and many of them are friends. And one of them who actually– I think she just turned 29 or 30. So she graduated about 12 years ago. She’s actually serving alongside us in ministry at the [co-op?], doing different things. So seeing that come full circle is just a really, really neat thing for me to kind of feel like I haven’t lost myself in the midst of these years of being at home with my children, that I can still do something that fulfills me for my kids. I wish I could say what Tammy said in that this has gotten them to be outgoing and do things, but it hasn’t. I have kids that are just naturally more introverted, more quiet. So what it’s done for them is, A, it’s forced them to go out into the world and to interact in a classroom setting, as opposed to just staying in our four walls at our kitchen table, where all they had to do was answer with their sisters and with me. So it’s it has kind of made them realize I have to do this. I have to grow beyond talking at home. But also with our co-op, one thing that I’ve noticed is that a lot of our families, when they come and they join us, because of the atmosphere that we’ve created, a lot of them stick around for a really long time.

Mindy Giles: 00:13:24.875
And so my girls, I’ve got two that have graduated. My last one is a junior, and they’ve all been at the co-op since the very beginning, so they’ve done nursery all the way through 12th grade. They have friends that– and friendships that they still have today that they formed back in elementary school through people that came to co-op and stuck around at co-op. And so those friendships, because I remember when I was in school, I have my best friend that I still talk to today almost 30 years after graduation from high school. And my girls have those same friendships that they wouldn’t have had otherwise had we not had the co-op to to join with.

Gretchen Roe: 00:14:15.210
Right. That’s awesome. That’s that’s really neat. And I love the fact that you said something that’s really important. Sometimes, we forget in the process of home educating our children that there will come a time when our kids are grown and gone and we still need to know what fills our cup. And so, I’m excited that you have that opportunity to have that outlet. That’s really cool. Lynn, tell us about you.

Lynn Fote: 00:14:42.534
Our group has been wonderful. And I really like it because I like to help people, and this group has allowed me to help people in different ways. When I was in high school, I went to public school and I was involved in Interact. So we did a lot of community outreach and it was a wonderful program. I was on the board. I did all these things with them. It was fantastic. And so now, with the group, we’re able to do those same kinds of things, and it’s it’s just a group of homeschool moms and dads. And we get together and we’ve reached out to the community and having that kind of outreach allows the kids to shine in ways that they just wouldn’t be able to do if they just schooled at home. And so that has been so important. But the group has helped me because I’ve been able to grow wonderful friendships with so many different parents and the moms are so supportive of each other. And we meet every week, and we have flexibility on the day, and we do that so that different parents can can join us at times because sometimes schedules are crazy. And the the important thing is I don’t want to put pressure on other parents. You have a lot. You have school. You have activities. You have things. Then, the holidays come. It gets nuts. There is no need for elaborate signups and doing all the things because it’s about just getting together. And if all we do is a park play date, sometimes that’s all you really need. Sometimes it has to be more than just that, and we do that. But the ebb and flow of structure and unstructured kind of helps. It helps us, the moms, because then we have time to kind of catch up and help each other through whatever’s going on.

Lynn Fote: 00:16:22.404
And it helps the kids too. They have chances to work on certain skills, fine motor, gross motor, whatever. But then they also can work on those really important social skills too. So it has been a wonderful way for us in all kinds of ways for helping.

Gretchen Roe: 00:16:36.934
I think that’s terrific. One of my best co-op experiences was not a co-op at all. It was a collaboration. I had a homeschool friend who was a meteorologist and she said, “Do you want me to teach science?” And I said, “Oh, absolutely.” And it happened to be a winter in Maryland when we had two back-to-back blizzards and being able to study the sky and figure out, okay, what’s going to happen was an amazing experience. And my kids then were like 8, 6, 4, but they still now, 38, 35, 32, talk about that experience and the memories that they made there.

Gretchen Roe: 00:17:19.285
So I think you ladies have all said how co-op has affected you affirmatively but how that experience has enriched both your lives and your students’ lives. I’d like to ask another question and that is, have you ever had a situation where maybe a family comes to the group and they don’t know how to fit in? How do you help them fit? And I think that’s a different question because sometimes, particularly– I’m an uber extrovert, so I’ll figure out how to fit in anywhere, but not everybody is that way. If you’re more introverted, that’s hard to do. So how do you help a family who sort of stands at the fringe and goes, “Ooh, I’m not sure I want to do this,” be comfortable doing that. And so I will start this time. Tammy, how about you start with that?

Tammy Arnold: 00:18:14.523
I would try to connect them with people their kids ages, find out, maybe what their kids are interested in and point them to the mom or the dad that their child has that same interest. If you can maybe put them in a class together, like, “I know, hey, your child– you would be a good fit for this certain mom or dad that’s teaching the class then or just introduce them. Sometimes all it takes is, hey, just to introduce them to the right people. They may be afraid to approach somebody, but you can point them to that mom and you can make the introduction yourself.

Gretchen Roe: 00:18:54.388
No, you know what? I think of a fond memory. One of my middle daughter’s best friends had that very situation. She and her mom came to a co-op environment that we were in and she was so introverted. She was afraid to reach out. And somebody said, “Here, Shelby, talk to this young lady.” And here they are 20 years later. They’re still firm friends. So that’s great. Lynn, how about you? How do you get families involved who might look like they’re standing on the fringes?

Lynn Fote: 00:19:27.233
It actually happens not infrequently in my group. We have in our Facebook group 300 members. We don’t have everybody come. But I do have a group of people who come regularly. And then you always find that there’s someone who’s been watching for a couple months, maybe even a year, and they’re just shy and they don’t know how to put their toe in. And there’s one event that just really is interesting to them and they do it. They make the leap and they come.

Lynn Fote: 00:19:56.476
And that’s great because then I walk right up to the parents and I talk to them and I speak with their child and I find out what’s important to them and why they’re here and what they want to get out of the whole situation. And then I connect them with other people who are present that day. So there might be common interests for the parent, there might be for the kid. And I’ll call children over if there’s a play situation like, “Hey, come on over. We have this new friend here.” And they go off and play. And within minutes, it’s all good. I’ve had situations where it’s a brand new mom. And by the end of the time of the event comes, she swapped phone numbers with somebody else and everything is great. And then she starts coming regularly because she feels comfortable. And that really makes me feel great. Making those kind of connections, it’s wonderful.

Mindy Giles: 00:20:43.854
I’m going to answer that question, but I actually want to mention something else. And you kind of touched on it, Gretchen. But those hearing from all of us, you’re hearing about, like you said, different styles of co-ops and groups and things like that. So I want to encourage anybody that’s out there that’s either thinking about starting a co-op or you’re just looking for one that not every co-op is going to fit for everyone. And so if you’re like Lynn and you’re like, “I don’t want to; I don’t want to place expectations; I don’t want it to be rigid,” that is okay. There will be some families that’ll be like, “Nope, not for me. I’m going to go down the road and find the one that is structured because that’s what I’m looking for.” And we need all of them because I’ve got a strictly academic co-op for the most part, and we’re busting out the seams. And so if there was another that was academic, it would have people attending it. But then we have some who are like, “I don’t really want the academics. I just want the social side of it.” So think about what you want and need for your kids and your family and then find the like-minded people to start something and do that with them because you will find that there is– I’ve learned over the years that there will be some people that will visit our co-op and they’re never going to call me again. And I used to get a little bit– I didn’t get my feelings hurt, but I used to be like, “Oh, what did I do wrong?” And then finally I realized I can’t be all things to all men and that’s okay. I’m going to be what I can be to those who need our group. And I’m going to encourage those that are saying that’s not a right fit. Well, guess what? I know this group and this group and this group that are different than ours, check them out because they’d be a great fit for you. So I just want to throw that encouragement out there for those watching.

Mindy Giles: 00:22:53.766
As far as getting those families, parents and kids that are maybe a little bit more introverted involved with our co-op, part of the thing is, is that the teaching parent, once again, typically the mom, but I love it when we have dads come in, they have to come and serve at least every other week at our co-op. And so over the summertime, and we have new families joining. I meet with all of them to kind of get to know them, get to know are they outgoing, are they more quiet, where are they at in the homeschooling time period? What ages are their kids? What are their kids like? Because I love to meet the kids as well. And so when I’m placing parents in classrooms, I do try to find out where parents want to go. So do they want to be with their kids or not? Do they want to love the babies, or do they want to stay far away from the babies? But I try to be mindful of what parents I place together so that if I’ve got a mom that I know is a really strong mom that’s really going to pull somebody out of their shell and maybe help them integrate into the group I’m going to try to put them together. And then just like Tammy mentioned, I’m also going to try to connect to those families that I know have children that might have the same interests. Because we are grade oriented, obviously, all the third-graders are going to be together. And so those kids are naturally going to get together. They’re going to form their friendships, which in turn typically forms a friendship between the parents and kind of brings them in a little bit more. So that’s some of the things that we do to encourage that. And I also try to, as the director, try to interact with all of our parents, especially those that I know are a little bit quieter, try to get to know them and see how they’re feeling and maybe if there’s different avenues and ways that I can help them to get more plugged in.

Gretchen Roe: 00:24:52.597
I can’t believe, ladies, I just looked at my computer clock, and it’s almost 2 o’clock. And this has been such a terrific conversation. I just have enjoyed getting to know you all. I just wish I could participate in all three of your co-ops. I’m sad that my homeschool journey is at an end because this kind of stuff sounds like it would be right up my alley. Closing words. I wonder if each of you might provide a closing thought, something that would be a takeaway for the families who will watch this video. And let’s see. How about Mindy? I’m going to start with you, and we’ll go Mindy, Tammy, and then, Lynn, I’ll let you have the last word.

Mindy Giles: 00:25:28.532
I think my closing thought would be this, that if you have a desire, and you want to start a homeschool group, do it. There is a need for it, and you can do it. You don’t have to be super qualified. You just have to have a heart to do it. And as you do it and develop it, keep it where you want to keep it. You can grow it to be huge and with that comes joys and comes sorrows and comes a lot of extra stuff that you may not want. So start it, and just take it as far as you want to go. And no, like I said in the beginning, you will not be all things to all people. So just be you, have your group, be what your group is, and stay true to that. Don’t try and bend to what other people want you to be.

Tammy Arnold: 00:26:26.500
I would say, just to step out on faith, and it’s it will benefit you. I have seen how it benefits my children to be involved in a group. We started small when my kids were young at a small co-op, and we’ve kind of grown from that into where we’re here, like I said, all day every Tuesday, and it has benefited me greatly just to have classes that my kids can attend and field trip opportunities. And I would just say, if it’s not working for you and whatever you’re doing, then find something that is. It could be a library group. It could be a Bible study that you go to, just something to see your kids be involved and to teach them accountability to someone else other than you. Because like Gretchen said, real world, you’re going to have to get up and go, and they’re not going to care that you don’t feel the best today, or you’ve had a bad weekend. So I think it’s really important to teach your children responsibility to be accountable to someone other than yourself. And also, just to give you opportunities to see how other homeschoolers are living their life, and you may learn things and see things that you didn’t even know about, that you’re exposing them to other areas. So thank you for the time you’ve given me.

Gretchen Roe: 00:27:51.863
That’s terrific. I love the fact that you said that it’s important for us to expose our kids to situations other than ourselves. Yeah. Lynn?

Lynn Fote: 00:28:02.367
Yeah. I mean, so much of what Mindy and Tammy doing, I think it’s wonderful. And the fact that our groups are so different is a great thing. I think there should be all different kinds of groups because different families have different wants and different needs. And that’s exactly why we need more homeschool groups. There are certain things that people who are watching this video will be able to bring to their community, to their area, that nobody else would be able to do. And it’s important that they feel empowered to do it. So absolutely. I think it’s wonderful. And there’s so many good things for you, for your family, for your community. You’ll make great friends. It is wonderful. There is definitely a need. And thank you, Gretchen, I do appreciate this.

Gretchen Roe: 00:28:45.275
I really appreciate all three of you for taking an hour out of your co-op day for your homeschool day, Tammy, for stepping away for the co-op for an hour to share this time with us. I think this has been a really rich experience. And I thank you, ladies, so much for the time that you have spent. This last hour has been incredibly rewarding for me. And I know it’ll be a game changer for a bunch of families. So thank you all so much for sewing into the lives of so many homeschoolers.

Voice-Over: 00:29:12.742
Thanks again for joining us. We’re glad to be a part of your educational community. You can help us grow our community even more by rating, reviewing and subscribing to the show wherever you may be hearing this. Don’t forget that you can access the show notes and watch a recording at demmelearning.com/show or on our YouTube channel. We’ll see you again next time. Until then, keep building strong foundations for lifelong learning.

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