[00:00:00] LaNissir James: I think no matter what conference you’re going to, you want to get a chance to just study their website, find out what classes are being offered, get a feel for what the flow would be. Are we at a two-day conference? Are we at a three-day conference? That you can get a grasp of exactly the experience that you’re going to have. You also have to think about what you need. Maybe you have dietary issues or health issues or children or maybe you’re nursing. I’ve been through all of those stages.

[music]

[00:00:34] Gretchen Roe: Welcome, my friend. It’s so great to see you.

[00:00:38] LaNissir: I’m excited to be here. How are you?

[00:00:41] Gretchen: I’m good. I’m good. I’m looking forward to joining you in May at the MACHE Maryland Homeschool Conference. I’m so excited to know that this conference is back. That’s where I got to homeschool my kids for 21 years, and this is going to be a wonderful experience. There’s a lot of people who registered today who said either, I don’t know what to ask or I don’t know what to do. Even one lady who registered this morning and said, “I’m terrified of doing this, but I know I have to go.” [chuckles] I think it was seven years before I went to my first conference. LaNissir James, would you please introduce yourself and we’ll get started in earnest. How’s that?

[00:01:28] LaNissir: Awesome. I’m excited. Again, I’m LaNissir James and I’m the homeschool mom of seven, so I totally understand the journey. Gretchen and I are the large family homeschoolers, and so we homeschool in all season. My oldest is 27 and my youngest is 9. Where I have graduated four homeschoolers already, I still have three more to go. I understand the seasons of homeschooling and all the great things.

My husband is in law enforcement, and so he too was the person, when we first started homeschooling almost 20 years ago, he says, “Is this legal? Don’t have the police at my door.” I said, “Honey, you are the police.” He said, “Don’t have my coworkers at my door.” There’s this sense of uncertainty and almost fear sometimes when you have the liberty to home educate your children and you begin to watch those school buses go down the road and you’re doing something that is convenient for you and your family. It is a natural feeling to think, “Wow, this is exciting.”

It also can be lonely because you may be one of very few homeschoolers on your block or in your neighborhood. Going to a conference has always been a landing place for me in homeschooling. It was like the rope that tied me into the next year because I found out so much about what more I could do with my kid at the conference. Springtime is the perfect time to be at a conference. No matter where you are around the world, it will be the energy that helps you get to the next level or wherever it is that God is bringing you in your homeschool journey.

[00:03:12] Gretchen: Absolutely. The particular reason that I invited LaNissir to have this conversation with me is she’s right. She has a child in every season. She also is the board president for the Maryland Homeschool Association. I want her to take us a little bit behind the scenes and talk about what does it mean when you start as a group to put a homeschool conference together. I know it’s an enormous amount of work. I did 16 of them last year, and I’ll do a dozen this year. I appreciate the conference organizers tremendously. Give us some insight when you all sit down as a board and say, “Let’s do a conference,” what do you have to do?

[00:03:59] LaNissir: I’m glad you brought that up because there are a lot of behind-the-scenes. I’m the executive director for MACHE, the Maryland Association of Christian Home Educators. Our focus is always what do homeschoolers need? Where are we? What season are we in? What’s exciting? What’s going on now? What do homeschoolers need to hear now? I think that that’s part of the first thing that we’re always looking for when putting together a conference.

This year is exciting because we realized that not only do we need a conference that gives you the how-to, you also need the connection. We’ve added a family fun night. Now, you, of course, are going to be here, Gretchen, and you have an appreciation of us being so close to the nation’s capital. This year, we have a family fun night to the monuments. We’re jumping on and off a chartered bus to let us see the monuments at night, which are so beautiful.

Whereas we do need those conferences of how to homeschool, Will Estrada will be here with the homeschool law, all kinds of things that are nuts and bolts to getting started, you also want to walk away with some friendships, with some connections. We have meetups going on and all kinds of meet things like that. We have a youth program because we know that parents have children. You may want to come to the conference, but you may not have a babysitter. I know about not having a babysitter, Gretchen. If you have a big family, [laughs] we know people don’t want to watch your kids.

[00:05:33] Gretchen: We grow our own.

[00:05:35] LaNissir: That’s right.

[laughter]

[00:05:37] LaNissir: I’ve birthed my own help, yes. We realized that if we can also offer a great teen program where they’re going to be learning about biblical disc and leadership and servant leadership and all kinds of biblical things, along with while you’re learning, and then we have our younger program, which is the whole armor of God, which is the full armor of God, which is so exciting, it frees up mom and dad. It frees up mom and dad to be able to learn, to be able to receive. What we also know, just like with my family, when my husband said, “Is this legal?” We know that people are making a decision about if they’re going to continue homeschooling.

You have to be able to have those kinds of things in mind when you’re planning so that there’s a place for the husbands, there’s a place for the wives, there’s a place for the kids, there’s a place for people to solidify their commitment to home education. What I know for certain is that when homeschoolers get together, we’re always grinning because we’re realizing that we’re not alone and that there are people who think just like us. It’s exciting, isn’t it?

[00:06:42] Gretchen: Yes, it is. It’s always a lot of fun. Being the extrovert’s extrovert, I am always energized when I get the opportunity to attend a conference. LaNissir, let’s speak now to the parent who has never been to a conference before, and particularly the mom that emailed me this morning and is a little nervous about what to expect. Explain to us what would you tell her to do first?

[00:07:13] LaNissir: I think I haven’t attended and spoke at conferences around the nation. I think no matter what conference you’re going to, you want to get a chance to just study their website, find out what classes are being offered, get a feel for what the flow would be. Are we at a two-day conference? Are we at a three-day conference? That you can get a grasp of exactly the experience that you’re going to have. You also have to think about what you need. Maybe you have dietary issues or health issues or children or maybe you’re nursing. I’ve been through all of those stages. [chuckles]

It’s like a puzzle. You figure out what piece you need and then you place yourself where you need to be. There’s times where I’ll say, I’ll get the recording on this when I’m at a really big conference and I’ll go and I’ll do some shopping here. There’s other times where I know I need to be encouraged in a certain area, and it’s a great class that my younger kid and it’s a better opportunity for me to learn instead of saying I’m going to record it later. You have to figure out what you need most and then fit yourself in the puzzle of the convention, and that includes travel. Are you staying overnight? Are you local or is it a local? All of those things matter.

I think even if you’re an introvert, I’m the personality expert. You and I, we get energized around people, but I’m cognizant of the fact that there are people who are introverts where they’re like, “This could be overwhelming.” There are opportunities where you can schedule in the time for you to steal away, have your notepad, I love to bring a highlighter, and just figure out what it is that you want to take action on. What was just notes and being able to spend some quiet time. I love the convention because there’s no have tos. You don’t have to be at every single thing at every single time. You’re going to figure out the flow that works best for you and your family.

[00:09:06] Gretchen: Sure. One of the, and one of the ways that could start, you and I were going to homeschool conferences before they even had websites, but now in this day and age, go Google the organization that you want to visit, look at their website and what they have up there, and then start planning what you’re going to do. I also often see parents who are last-minuters like me, who get the conference book at the door of the conference, and then they’ll go and sit down, read through it, and decide, “What is it that I want to do?” Either way works really well-

[00:09:45] LaNissir: It does.

[00:09:45] Gretchen: -to plan. The other piece of advice I think that I have for someone who’s never been to a conference before is, don’t spend any money on the first day that you’re there. Make sure you have conversations with people, make sure you learn about the materials. LaNissir, you and I homeschooled long enough that we have seen the evolution of what is available? What year did you start homeschooling?

[00:10:15] LaNissir: I started homeschooling in 2005.

[00:10:21] Gretchen: I started in 1995.

[00:10:24] LaNissir: Oh, good.

[00:10:25] Gretchen: Between 1995 and 2005, I saw the amount of available resources for homeschoolers treble, and it’s probably trebled again. Not everything is created equally either. What works for you might not work for me. We have to know ourselves and our kids a little bit more intimately so that we can make wise choices. Tell me a little bit about how do you choose your curricula for a year?

[00:11:00] LaNissir: That’s a great question. Of course, I don’t think that there’s a homeschooler listening that wouldn’t say that the thing that they collect is books. That’s the thing.

[laughter]

[00:11:09] Gretchen: I just had to go buy another bookcase for my office this weekend because I couldn’t even move my chair around because I had stacks everywhere. [chuckles]

[00:11:21] LaNissir: I love what you said, Gretchen, about really seeing what it is that you need. From year to year, particularly during the springtime, right around March, April, I’m looking for my bug list. What didn’t happen this year? What do I need to do more of? What does Johnny need more of? What would you–

[00:11:41] Gretchen: You call that a bug list? [laughs]

[00:11:43] LaNissir: I call it a bug list.

[00:11:44] Gretchen: I love it. That’s great.

[00:11:45] LaNissir: The reason it’s a bug list is because you got to go keep the curriculum you’re using. Come on. We’re landing the plane. We’re landing the plane on the current year, but you’re also going to eye out what you want to see happen for the upcoming year. I have this list, Leo needs to do more on his cursive. LaNissir needs a different math. She needs more manipulatives with her math or whatever it is. I’m thinking those kinds of things. That’s the safest way to go into your exhibitor hall. We love exhibitors. We love them and we want you to purchase from them. We want you to connect with them because they have a lot of great answers, but you need to also match it to what you need for the upcoming year.

I love the element of surprise. Don’t you love it when you come across a curriculum you knew nothing about. You walk up on it, you have a chance to have an experience and you’re thinking, “Oh, this would be great.” You’re going to have that too, but I think the way you stay grounded is to make sure that you’re going in and solving the problem that you had before you got there. Then looking at some additional. Now, I do want to say that I do understand that there are people who are thinking, “If I knew what to do, I would do it. I have no idea.” [laughs] I know I’ve been there too. I’ve worn that [crosstalk]

[00:13:07] Gretchen: How many times have you had somebody say to you, “Oh, I couldn’t teach my children. I’m not qualified to do that. I’m not a teacher.” I’m not either. [laughs]

[00:13:17] LaNissir: A million times. You’re your mama, and mama knows what’s best. She knows what her children need. She knows if her children are flourishing from what they have in front of them. I think that you are the best advocate for your child and you know what they need. I love conferences. In fact, it has always just been the springboard that has kept me going year after year. I don’t know. I started as the reluctant homeschooler. I’m going to give this a try. I’m going to do this for a year.

[00:13:47] Gretchen: Talk to me a little bit in more depth. What drew you to homeschooling in the first place?

[00:13:53] LaNissir: My kids were in private schools, private Christian schools, and we had a situation with a grade, which was really strange. My daughter was a– Academically, she’s a very strong student, but she also was a junior Olympic gymnast at the time. She had a lot on her plate.

[00:14:10] Gretchen: That’s a lot on her plate.

[00:14:12] LaNissir: Mom had a lot on her plate because when your students are student athletes, I was just doing a talk, a blog for my group about the sports mom, I’ve always been the sports mom, and the impact of the sports mom. I think it was a deal breaker where it opened my eyes that perhaps they don’t have the best teachers here, that there may be an opportunity to do more, to do better. It was a thought, it’s more fleeing, but when the year ended, I told my husband that I was going to explore. He was like, “What? No way. You?”

I began to look around and the– He has a sense of humor. He allowed me to just look at these different places and I realized how committed I was to them. I realized that maybe I could. Of course, the first year I got the exact same books from the Christian school. That was just because I didn’t have the confidence. I just thought– I know you guys have extended family who are stakeholders with your children. Grandma is a stakeholder. Grandma said, “You’re homeschooling my grandchildren?” That was code word to, “It better be good.”

[laughter]

[00:15:27] LaNissir: You have that pressure.

[00:15:29] Gretchen: My mother-in-law said something entirely different. She said, “Oh dear, I hope you don’t raise morons.” [laughs]

[00:15:36] LaNissir: Morons. It’s rough. It’s rough.

[00:15:40] Gretchen: You know what? She was proud of them, but this is the longest journey before results and it makes a difference.

[00:15:48] LaNissir: That kind of pressure is upon the homeschooler. Conferences help you get connected so that you’re not alone. You see different things. Listen, bring your camera. [laughs] I always like to show myself at the conference and maybe there’s a like a robotic succession over there or book reading section, and I took pictures and I sent it back to the peanut gallery. I sent it back because it mattered, it gave me confidence, and people are like, “Oh, there are other people who homeschool. Oh, this is a homeschool conference?”

I love the middle end of the week, in the middle of the school day, because remember the conferences are going on while traditional kids are in school. That is an opportunity for you to show the world that homeschooling really exists. We’re growing, homeschooling is growing by leaps and bounds, and so many people are homeschooling. Sometimes you don’t have any evidence of it, particularly if you’re in a part of a rural part of the world where there’s not a lot of people and you’re trying to convince yourself and the other stakeholders who are involved in your homeschooling.

[00:16:54] Gretchen: Now, you brought up something that I think is really interesting and it’s a suggestion for someone who’s already on the homeschool journey. That is, take your camera, take a picture of your bookshelf so you remember what you have, because a couple of my homeschool friends along the way, found a curriculum that they were in love with, bought it, went home, and it was on their shelf. [laughs] It happens to all of us, but being proactive in planning, I think helps a lot. I think it helps us think.

[00:17:28] LaNissir: It does.

[00:17:30] Gretchen: I interviewed a guest a couple of weeks ago. She’s a full-time working mother and a full-time homeschool mom. She has homeschooled from the very beginning. One of the things she said is you have your bug list, which she visits that bug list every 11 weeks with her kids. When the 12th week begins, she sits down with her kids and says, “Tell me how this is gone. Tell me what you’d like to change. Tell me what you like.” I said, “Their academics are driven by them, right?” She said, “No, they’re informed by them, but I’m the one who makes the decisions.”

I thought that was really a valuable piece of information. We forget that we’re in the position of making affirmative decisions for our kids. Now, you have kids in elementary school, you have– Is there a middle schooler? I’m trying to remember. Then a high schooler. Then you have one who’s getting ready to graduate. When LaNissir sits down to plan her homeschool year, who do you start with? I know I always started with the oldest kid because I had the least amount of time left with them. How about you?

[00:18:50] LaNissir: When it comes down, I actually have a total of seven children. Four have graduated and three are home, but one is elementary, middle, and high. When I’m planning, and we do– We are considered the classical, traditional, yet eclectic, unit study, Montessori kind of family. You have to figure out how you like learning. I’m always looking at that. For instance, if I have a student who needs to do more over the summer, because sometimes we love our summer learning and we do. We spend most of our time down at the beach in the summer. I love to do unit studies.

We’re doing zoology, we’re doing swimming creatures during the summer. I’m always thinking about what do I need for this student to enhance? I love talking about unique electives. High schooling is my subject expertise. I’m also zooming in on the unique elective for that particular child. Yes, I do start from the top to the bottom, but then the bottom to the top in terms of age. I’m thinking, “Right now my oldest student is a junior and is going to be a rising senior.” Then I’m thinking about where and what’s going to be their launch? Are they headed to college? Is it going to be vocational?

In her case, she’s headed to college, but then I’m looking at the area she’s going into. Now, I want to be able to create courses and opportunities to really help enhance that. My son, he’s a freshman right now in college. Last year, while he was getting ready to launch, and it was his last senior year, when we were planning, we knew that he was going to do a business administration and pick up a trade. When we were in that last year, we wanted him to have more geometry and carpentry. We wanted him to have more accounting.

Those were the classes that I would go into the exhibitor hall, if you will, looking for. Are there accounting classes that I can expose my son to? Is there anything else with trades that would give him an edge up? You’re always thinking about what kinds of things. Right now, my middle son, who is at home, Leo, he’s into computers. I’m looking at coding, I’m looking at information system and Java C Script and C++. Now, as I walk, I have the privilege to go into different conferences. I walk around and say, “Hey, what’s out there for computers?”

I’m always thinking about that. I’m convinced about my core, my English, math, science, history, foreign language. When I make a change to those curriculums, it’s usually because there’s a way or a kid who needs something a little bit different. Remember, that’s on the bug list though. Then I’m going in saying, Leo needs more hands-on on his math or he needs, et cetera, et cetera. If you go to conferences looking to enhance, fix, improve your homeschool journey, it will help you along the way.

Now, take your time, breathe, take breaks. I love what you said about maybe not buying on the first day, figuring out by the second day, calling your hubby at home, all kinds of things because you come back in spring with this new curriculum and you want to love it as much as you love it in the spring. You want to love it that much in the fall- [laughs]

[00:22:21] Gretchen: Absolutely.

[00:22:22] LaNissir: -when it’s time to start.

[00:22:25] Gretchen: I think I might have bought a curricula in the spring that sat on my shelf all summer. When I pulled it out, it was a little hard to remember what I found so compelling [chuckles] to spend the money. Then I learned to write in it why I bought it in the very beginning-

[00:22:42] LaNissir: Exactly.

[00:22:42] Gretchen: -so that when I opened it back up, I’m like, “Oh yes. They said this and they said this.” You said something interesting with your bug list. I always advise parents, if you have a curricula that’s not working, that’s one of the booths you should visit at a conference because sometimes it’s just something you have not understood or have not utilized properly. I’m a good Scotswoman. I’m a cheap German. I want you to keep the money in your pocket if you can. Sometimes, going to talk to someone saying, “We used this curriculum this year, and this is what we found.” Having that affirmative conversation can sometimes change it for a family. Then you don’t have to spend money and find something new.

[00:23:35] LaNissir: That’s right. I love that. That’s a good approach to it. Sometimes it’s springtime, you’re just coming off winter and it’s probably nothing wrong with the curriculum. You’re probably just tired.

[laughter]

[00:23:48] Gretchen: As a matter of fact, I’m going to give a plug for a webinar we’re doing next week called, Is It The Curriculum, The Kid, Or Me?

[00:23:56] LaNissir: [unintelligible 00:23:56]

[00:23:57] Gretchen: When you’re having a challenge, who’s at fault there? [chuckles] Being able to diagnose that is a huge, valuable experience. The longer you homeschool, the better you do that.

[00:24:09] LaNissir: Yes, and it stops you from jumping all around too. It benefits the kids too because it also teaches them some resilience to push through things that are difficult, because as they get into higher education, it’s not as pretty. You got to take a withdrawal. It’s like a big W on the college level if you’re going to pull out [crosstalk]

[00:24:26] Gretchen: And you spent a lot of money for that W. [laughs]

[00:24:29] LaNissir: You spent a lot of money. Setting some good parameters around what a change would look like and why. I think there’s always an opportunity to learn from what you’ve picked and then make changes. It’s exciting.

[00:24:44] Gretchen: LaNissir, you are the veteran homeschool mom and wonderful mentor I know. I’ve met people that you have mentored and it’s always an amazing conversation. What would be in these closing minutes, the one piece of advice you would offer to a veteran homeschool mom? Then I’ll ask you again to offer that advice to a newbie.

[00:25:09] LaNissir: To a veteran homeschool mom, that’s a good question. People always say, “What do you want to say to the new one?” I think it may be the same because, as I think of myself as a veteran homeschool mom, and thinking about as a younger, you have to move at the speed of your family. Your family has seasons and you need to know what those seasons are. There was a time, people say, “I don’t understand how they do it.” Because all they see me as the mom who was nursing many and pregnant because I was pregnant and nursing all the time.

Oh, I spent more of my life pregnant than un-pregnant. That was a season. Now I have a season where I have more young adult children than I have younger children. That’s a season. Now my help has helped. It’s amazing. I think whether you’re a veteran or if you’re just starting off, move at the speed of your season. That’s the [crosstalk]

[00:26:02] Gretchen: I love that.

[00:26:04] LaNissir: It’s going to bless you. There’s joy in that. God is in it. He’s going to honor those things. I remember being in the season when I was nursing, and I needed to feed a baby every couple of hours. [chuckles] That was the season I was in. Wherever you are, love it. It goes fast. It really goes fast.

[00:26:23] Gretchen: It does. It does indeed. LaNissir, I want to thank you so much for joining me for this hour. It went a whole lot faster than I anticipated that it would, but you’ve offered us some terrific advice and I know parents will get a lot out of it. If you’re in the Maryland Delmarva Peninsula, join us in May. We will look forward to having you there. LaNissir, thanks for the time.

[00:26:46] LaNissir: Thank you, Gretchen.

[00:26:47] Gretchen: Take care. Bye-bye.

[00:26:49] LaNissir: Bye for now.

[music]

[00:26:51] Speaker 1: Thanks again for joining us. We’re glad to be a part of your educational community. You can help us grow our community even more by rating, reviewing, and subscribing to the show wherever you may be hearing this. Don’t forget that you can access the show notes and watch a recording at demmelearning.com/show or on our YouTube channel. We’ll see you again next time. Until then, keep building strong foundations for lifelong learning.